Memoirs
Sanjay Raphael Varghese
My earliest
memories of Gregorios Tirumeni, is that of a very Holy Tirumeni seen from
the awe - filled eyes of a12 year old in the small town of Khetri in
Rajasthan, where I was born and brought up. My father had often told me
that this Tirumeni was an extraordinary person with great wisdom, which I
didn’t understand then, but today I can recall very clearly, how great I
felt standing next to him and getting photographed with him, back in 1975.
After I joined the Taj Group of Hotels as a Management Trainee in 1988, I
was in
Delhi and had a lot of spare time, some of which I spent as a volunteer at
Nirmal Hridaya. one of the Missionaries of Charity home for the destitute
and dying, where I also met Mother Teresa once. It was during those times
when I had a very strong urge to serve the church, so I gathered enough
courage to go and meet Gregorios Tirumeni and express my desire to become
a priest.
He had the reputation of having a temper, always on a very short fuse. But
when I actually met him at the Orthodox Centre, I found him quite the
opposite - very approachable and willing to hear me fully. I still
remember my first meeting with him when we spent almost two hours talking,
where most of my energy was spent on trying to impress him. I realised
that I was not talking merely to a religious leader, but a well -
informed, contemporary, intelligent human being totally devoid of any
pretensions and a man with a fantastic sense of humour. He asked me to
keep visiting him at the Orthodox Centre whenever I had time. That became
the starting point of a cherished association for me and from then on,
very often I did not go back home but stayed over night at the Centre.
In 1989, Tirumeni was one of the organizers of the International
Philosophy Conference in Delhi, and he asked me to be with him throughout
for ten days to assist him. In those ten days, I worked very closely with
him and probably he too tested me and found me acceptable enough to
entrust some of his affairs to my care. I witnessed then that even a
Tirumeni can drive a car wearing his Kuppayam, at a respectable speed of
70 Kms / hour at 11.00 PM in the night and enjoy Mughlai food (no meat
only fish). It was a pleasant surprise to me, a hotelier, to know that
Tirumeni even knew what kind of beverage or juice or aerated drink would
go with which kind of food. On enquiring, he told me that he had picked up
that knowledge when he was in Geneva at the WCC, this suggest the fact
that he was open to knowledge of any field.
He then gave me the responsibility to sort his mail, set up a CD player
for him, which I did; he asked me whether I could work on the computer and
at that time I was not very computer literate (one of my biggest regrets,
as I could have done so much for him if I knew computers then). He also
told me that he had charted out a plan for me to go to the Seminary and
for Higher Studies abroad, but I was not ready till then due to the fact
that my sister was still unmarried and my mother being a widow, though a
very strong lady, couldn’t have managed my absence from the family.
Stroke
Tirumeni was fine with that and we continued our regular meetings at the
Centre. It was during one of his trips to Europe that the devastating news
hit us that he had suffered a stroke and was bed ridden in Germany.
Finally after about two months we heard that he was coming back; but this
time on a wheel chair and as a walking crutch dependant. When I saw him
for the first time on the wheel chair I was amazed with his tenacity to be
in control; even though his left hand and leg would not respond to his
wishes, yet amazingly he appeared to be an epitome of perfect serenity.
When I walked up to him right in the Immigration Area, I could see that he
was visibly surprised but very relieved to see me there, and I for the
first time saw that Tirumeni’s too have emotions and they too are normal
human beings like all of us. The moment of truth came when Tirumeni tried
to get into the car from the wheel chair, which he could not do on his
own, somebody had to pick up his left leg and put it into the car.
That was the first time I felt a fair degree of anger and frustration at
the fact that from that time onwards, he would have to depend on some body
for something as simple as getting into a car. I whole - heartedly took up
that responsibility whenever I was with him and very soon, I had mastered
the art of lifting his paralyzed leg to the best of his requirements.
One of the most agonizing experiences, which Tirumeni had to go through,
was when he had to be operated upon for his prostrate problem. The result
of the surgery was not positive, as anticipated by the doctors and
Tirumeni had to battle incontinence for about six months. I witnessed his
agony caused due to the inflammation in the groin and the inability to
even move his legs. I went and spoke to the nurse in - charge to put an
appropriate external catheter with a urine bag to prevent the urine from
falling onto his skin.
Immediately after the surgery Tirumeni was invited by Mrs. Sonia Gandhi
for one of the Rajiv Gandhi Foundation Meetings and once again I was
amazed with his determination; he dared to go for such a high profile
meeting with catheter and urine bag attached to his body. Unfortunately in
the middle of the meeting the catheter came off and Tirumeni had to come
back with his Kuppayam all wet. What
I saw in him then, was not shame but frustration of a very agile and alert
brain with an inextinguishable flame of desire to do more, but trapped in
a body which had its limitations. Unfortunately, in those days the Adult
diapers were not available in India. Recently when I saw these being sold
at the neighbourhood medical store, I was reminded of this very incident.
Conference on World Religions - Rishikesh
During the course of the limited time spent by me with Tirumeni, he asked
me if I could attend the International Conference on World Religions at
Rishikesh. Although he had asked some other Doctoral students from Delhi
University - Dr. Joyce Prakasam, Dr. Manju Gerard - my sister, Dr. Abhik,
Dr. Nutan, only I had the privilege to be his personal assistant all
throughout. There I witnessed in him, a paralyzed man working against
conference deadlines on a laptop computer with one hand late into the
night, and again getting up very early to prepare for the day ahead. I had
the responsibility to dress him up and do all those little things for him,
which otherwise any other person would normally take for granted. I also
used to change the filled urine bags, wash them and replace them with
fresh ones.
In the Conference, Tirumeni expressed his agony as to how we, the
followers of Lord Jesus Christ, have lost the great commission to be the
"Salt of the Earth." I realised how humble a man Tirumeni was in the true
sense and after listening to him, most of the people had tears in their
eyes. I also saw Tirumeni being welcomed by the Hindu Priests at Haridwar
on the banks of river Ganga with ‘Aarti’ and ‘Tilak’ on his forehead.
During the evening ceremonies, I witnessed an Orthodox Bishop saying ‘OM’
and pouring out the water from river Ganga, in an act of veneration as per
the Hindu traditions. For me and one other young orthodox priest, it was
an act of total desecration of the Orthodox Faith. I was upset and curious
to know why Tirumeni did that, I drew enough courage to ask him some days
later about this subject, and he smiled disarmingly and said, "You
shouldn’t have waited so long to ask me about what I did that night; all I
did was respect the Tradition of the Hindu Brothers and acknowledge God
Almighty’s creation of the life - giving rivers on the earth."
He went on to
explain that one doesn’t have to disrespect somebody else’s way of life to
proclaim the way in which you are convinced of salvation, especially in
the Christian context. Again all who knew and interacted with Tirumeni
very closely knew about his relationship with Baba Virsa Singh, a very
pious and saintly person from the Sikh background illiterate but of a deep
spiritual insight who claimed to have seen Jesus Christ.
Post Stroke
After spending considerable time with Tirumeni, I was able to anticipate
his needs and be proactive to his satisfaction. So much so that once when
he fell ill and was in Kerala at the Seminary, he asked for me to be
present there with him for some days. I immediately left for Kerala and
spent about ten days of some great time with him, cooked for him and
served him to his satisfaction, also witnessed some great interaction and
learning with him at the Seminary. During his post - stroke life, Tirumeni
tried many measures to restore strength to his left leg and hand, one such
endeavour was a treatment under a Unani Vaid in a Unani hospital in North
Delhi.
I still remember that Passion Week when I pursued him to come to Mayur
Vihar Church on Good Friday to which he agreed. He participated in the
Good Friday Service and spoke to the congregation, and when the time for
the Kissing of the Cross came, he called me and asked me as a matter of
fact whether I was carrying any money, luckily I had some money and gave
him some, I think a fifty rupee note. It’s not that I didn’t feel
privileged that Tirumeni was taking money from me - I did, but the fact
that he found me approachable enough made me think of the ability of this
great man to relate with anybody.
The last time I spent time together with him out of Delhi, was when he was
getting himself treated for the stroke at Mumbai, at the residence of the
then Governor, His Excellency Dr. P. C. Alexander. He suddenly fell very
ill and had to be admitted to Bombay Hospital. Phillip Achen called me
from there and told me that Tirumeni wanted me in Mumbai to be with him in
the hospital, and that evening as desired by him, I was at his bedside in
the hospital. Two days later all of us flew back to Delhi when Tirumeni
recovered.
Last Purchase
One of the last tasks I did for Tirumeni was to do some shopping for him.
I bought him some real good curtain tassels and a white lamp shade so that
he could read before he used to go to sleep. I also organized his bedroom
and dressing room, an opportunity of my lifetime when I got to see all the
medallions, personal possessions, awards and rare photographs and objects
collected by him on his various travels. I framed a photo for him, which
he received from one of his friends from his Cambridge Days Alumni
gathering. This is still kept in one of the display cabinets at the
Orthodox Centre.
Little did I know that he went to one of the saree shops in Delhi on a
wheel chair to buy wedding gift for my sister, off course Kochu Tirumeni
and Sam Achen then made sure that the saree was sent to Kerala where the
wedding took place.
He used to get very exhausted those days, but I never ever imagined that
he would leave all of us that soon and that too at a time when I would be
out of Delhi. The thing I used to enjoy the most was the privilege to have
dinner with Tirumeni in his bedroom and talk about various things and
listen to the words of wisdom. In that same room I twice celebrated the
onset of the New Year, with Tirumeni praying in a very touching and
personal manner at midnight. It used to be a very routine exercise for me
to sit till very late in the night and massage his feet with pain
relieving balm as, after the stroke the feet used to twitch and he used to
get cramps, which were very painful. Eventually as he would be ready to
sleep, he used to ask me to put his favourite music, the ‘Gregorian
Chants’, and then finally to switch off the main light and say - "Good
Night", I would then gently cover him with the blanket, kiss his hand and
leave the room.
Towards his last days, he one day asked me to reconsider about going to
the Seminary and becoming a priest; he said you will find a nice girl and
get married, and start a family. It was during that time he gave me a gift
of silver cuff links, which today I wear and feel proud of.
He was, truly, an extraordinary man; not just as a spiritual leader but a
socialist visionary in the true sense of the word; for me, personally, he
was nothing less than a friend, a philosopher, a guide, almost like a
father (as evident in the letter he wrote to me), knowing him changed my
life inside out.
(Prayatna - MGOCSM Delhi Diocese News Letter, Sep. 2003) |